I got my tablet! Along with a 1ftx2ftx3ft box filled with large bubble wrap (the tablet is a 6inx8in. Yeah the ones that shipped it were bubble wrap crazy.

Well, let's just say the bad luck I had all quarter followed me through the holidays. I tried making presents for my friends, AKA ren mugs carved with all sorts of embellishments. But my dad sabotaged me at every turn and now the only thing I can do is make what he wanted me to in the first place. It really pisses me off.

Haven't seen many of my friends this month. Was unsuccessful in going to three raves, for one reason or another my rides had issues the night before(one even got in a car accident). I got one thing that I wanted for Christmas but once I got it I realized how afraid I was of what may follow it. I'm not single now but I'm scared of one, that it will be hollow of any emotion on his side. Guh.....I'm just melancholy. So ignore this post. I just needed to unload.......Gah and now my mom is watching a christian show......one thing I hate about Christmas. 1-christmas songs being played constantly 2-glorified cult services

Yeah let's just say I have had a really bad damned week. Failed my Bus 101 exam and now I have lost $90. Of course no one took the money to the security or anything......That would be too moral of a thing to do......Yeah now I can't get the Japanese program.......Just my luck.......Bad luck doesn't wear off with me......It gets stronger.......

Crap I passed 700 pageviews before I realized it and did a pic....must do that....

I thought I would go through the grieving process over my friends a bit faster and better than I have but then again that's how life is. I've been practicing with my drawing a little but since I have been numb for several weeks now I haven't drawn anything worth mentioning.I miss them so much that I've been on auto pilot, only resurfacing when I am reading one of my books remember how sweet emotions could be but one I book mark my page and close the book it's gone. I cry and cry again but it gets me no where and I can't capture that despair long enough to use it in my art. I see pictures in my mind, color schemes I want to use to reflect how I feel but once I pull out my sketch book only meaningless sketches come out that are dull and numb like I am.I have fun with others though as of late I'm alone more then not, and smiles only cross my face when I feel I must reflect them to another as they smile at me. I'm lonely and alone, it's defining... I only wish my art could be my voice